But I'm here to tell you, the facts do little to convey the truth, and they offer even less comfort.
At the end of the next month, I will have been officially unemployed for a full year. Considering my last job paid only $2000 for about six weeks of work and before that I was waiting tables, you could say I've been under-employed for much longer.
As I wrote earlier, I do love taking care of my home and being a bit of a housewife. However, at times it can be very, very hard not to contribute to the financial stability of my young family. I want to help pay off debt; I want to increase our savings. I desperately want to improve our credit ratings for when we want to buy a house or a new car.
And there doesn't seem to be a damn thing I can do about that.
I've been applying to jobs for months. I don't mean I've just been searching for the perfect job and lamenting that it doesn't exist, as some people have done. I mean I have applied for EVERY job in the past many months. That means everything from academic and policy jobs for which I am actually trained and qualified; that means mediocre secretary positions that I could do in my sleep; that means retail jobs that are hiring large groups of applicants.
Still nothing.
The jobs I'm over-qualified for are well aware of that fact, and they don't want to take the time to hire and train someone who's going to have at least one foot out the door, looking for something better. The jobs I'm qualified for are inundated with people just like me: over-educated, under-employed, and perfectly willing to accept less than we're worth.
I won't lie to you; it's incredibly frustrating. After a while you start thinking, maybe it's me. And in some ways, it really is. I am a less than ideal candidate as I lack the experience for the jobs I really want (they're all wanting 6-10 years plus the education), and I would be a horrible fit for the jobs I don't (I'd be bored, but happy just to have a job).
Some days are easier than others: I appreciate having the time to do my own thing and learn how to be a better cook and wife, and I love getting a chance to see my friends any time I want. Other days are worse: I feel like a leech on my husband as he works to support us both, and all of the things I use to fill my days feel trivial, silly, and a waste of time and money.
Today was one of the bad days. I was rejected in the first wave for one of the jobs I actually really wanted and spent days on the resume and cover letter. Then I spoke to my mother, who, in her worry and love for me, made me feel even worse. "I don't understand. You are too smart, you have plenty of experience, and you can do almost any job. You're the only person I know who can't get ANY job, lately. I know it may not be what you want, but you should be doing SOMETHING. Stop being so picky. Just get out there and get a job. You're not trying hard enough."
Ouch.
In my busiest application week, I sent out over 40 resumes, signed up at every temp agency in the area, and put up profiles at every networking site I could find. And nothing came of it.
My mother's reaction is understandable, though. I AM the only person in my circle of friends and likely her circle of friends who doesn't have anything. It seems ridiculous that I can find nothing.
It must be me, right?
Like I said, today was one of the bad days.
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